More Is Not Always Better

As I lie in bed this morning, re-living a wonderful sensual, non-sadistic, caning, it occurred to me again that there seems to still lurk this attitude that the harder you can take your play the better sub/bottom/slave you are.

I really think we get caught up in this idea that more is better. I know from talking to others fairly new to the scene that they feel pressured to take it harder, to take more. That they feel somehow that they are considered less of sub/bottom/slave if they don't wish to play hard, if they are not interested in trying whips, electrical play, or even wish to play at all.

Not all of us are into this to endure physical sensations that we perceive as unpleasant. Not all of us can take intense sensations and turn them into erotic ones. Not all of us enjoy the idea of pushing our endurance, of struggling through.

Each and every one of us does this for our own personal reasons. There's no right or wrong about it. I'm not here to judge other people, nor am I here to live up to anyone else's expectations.

What I choose to do, and how I choose to do it, is as much my decision as who I choose to do it with.

I know, that even after 6 years, my submissive nature makes it hard sometimes to disappoint people. Especially friends and loved ones. This does not make me weak, stupid, or in need of protection. But it does mean I'll occasionally give in to something I'd rather pass on.

It's my nature, and I'm no longer ashamed of it. But I am aware of it, and I always do my best to stand firm and say no. I expect my friends to understand this, and to care about me enough to resist the urge to pressure me into doing anything I seem reluctant to do.

I surround myself with people I feel are understanding and caring. I feel safe around them, as one should around friends. It's the smart thing for me to do. Because of this I feel relatively safe and secure and free to be the real me.

I felt the need to share these thoughts, mainly because I believe that we should never be complacent about assuming that those of us in the lifestyle never get carried away by enthusiasm and pressure. No matter how experienced we may be.

We're all human, after all. And the very intimate type of fun we indulge in together is pure sweet temptation.

At least it is to me.