Sex has become a path to spirituality for me. And this is something I was somewhat skeptical about when I first entered the BDSM community and heard people refer to S/m as Sex Magic.
I thought perhaps they were putting a romantic spin on what was simply just a really great way to get some endorphins and exercise.
But by adding submission to my sexual expression something rather magical did happen.
I began to equate such fun activities as being on my knees, obeying even when I didn't want to do what I was told, and having my own pleasure postponed for someone else's pleasure, as spiritual acts.
Acts of humbling myself, acts of sacrifice and selflessness. These are acts that every religion, as far as I can tell, considers very spiritually healthy.
Now I get it.
Sex became more than just me striving for an orgasm. It became about linking to the desires of my partner, of losing myself in his will, and not my own. Of acknowledging my own powerlessness, and accepting it with faith and trust.
What is that saying: Let go and let God? Well, it's something like that.
To look at your partner and see them as a vessel of whatever greater power there may be out there in the Universe. To acknowledge the greater power by seeing them as a representation of life and creation...
To worship the divine in the person I am submitting to...It's as rapturous as any religious experience.
In all my dabbles with spiritual doctrines like Buddhism I could never manage those states of being in the moment, of accepting one's powerlessness. Could never really understand faith.
Meditation, chanting, fasting...nope, none of it worked.
Through sex and submission I have learned those things. I guess I needed a flesh and blood representation of the Divine. I needed to use my strong sexuality as the best conduit perhaps.
Well, at any rate, why is works is a pedantic point. It works. For me. And I am more in touch with the Universe, with my place in it, and with my own soul now than I have ever been.
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